System Malfunction

  On Tuesday of last week I sat in my car in the pouring rain taking a scheduled call from NHS talking therapies. It was essentially a triage service to see what they could do for me. The lady on the other end of the call gently asked what had caused me to reach out … Read More

Hippy New Year

I can’t remember the last time I sat down to write a blog. Actually I can, I can remember many times when I’ve sat down and the words just didn’t come. It’s not as if there hasn’t been anything to say. So much has happened in the last year, so much that I intended to … Read More

Seven years of HoPE

Mojo is completely in love with the George Ezra song Shotgun (who isn’t right?). We’ve taught ourselves the Makaton for the chorus, Mojo can sound out the ends of the chorus sentences and the ‘yeah’ lines. We’ve had it on repeat for weeks. I think that the reason we both love it so much is … Read More

Under the Surface

At the hospital we went to while I was pregnant there is an underground car park. Many of the memories I have from the bleakest days of my pregnancy are fuzzy or even misremembered but the memory of that car park is visceral. Thinking about it now makes my heart beat faster. The psychological impact … Read More

Changing Places #pantsdown4equality

I’m slightly embarrassed by this post. Not because it’s essentially a fan girl letter to a bunch of bloggers and campaigners who are about to spend the day sitting on the loo in the window of a shop on Baker Street (no really they are) but because this is really the first time I’ve written … Read More

New Year, New House, New Thinking

Exactly ten years ago on New Year’s Eve my sister arranged VIP tickets for us at a club. We were set up with Champagne, space, a free bar and all the necessary celebratory décor. We were having a fabulous time and it was approaching midnight when a conversation struck up that maybe we should be on the … Read More

An alternative Christmas ad!

Picture the scene. Slow tempo Christmas music plays in the background. Sparkly Christmas lights reflect in the wide eyes of a six year old girl in the toy department of a large department store. Children around her look excitedly at the toys, pointing and chatting. The camera cuts to a wide shot which shows the … Read More

Caring on Empty

I just don’t think I’m coping very well, I said. Then I cried. Sitting in the GPs office back in August I described to the doctor how the physical symptoms of my anxiety, the heart racing, the dizzy spells, the nausea had started to frighten me. It was making me question my ability to look … Read More

Where The Heart Is

Today we put our house on the market. The house that has been our first family home. The house we have spent 5 chaotic, happy, laughter-filled, anxiety ridden years. I still have the details of the house from when we bought it. I maintain that I knew it was ‘the one’ before we’d even seen inside it. … Read More