Today is a big deal. Today is Mojo’s first day of school.
It’s not so much the practicalities of her being away from me because she has attended the pre-school full time since last Christmas. In Mojo’s eyes she is just going back to school with a new classroom and a new teacher.
I know different though. I know because I remember the meetings in early 2012 when I held her smiling and tiny in my arms while doctors talked about just ‘going away and enjoying her while we have her’. I remember telling the mums in the parenting class I attended (to make up for the fact that it was ‘unnecessary to do NCT’, we wouldn’t be taking a baby home) that it was unlikely that I would ever have to think about schools for Mojo because she was not expected to live that long. Retrospectively ladies, I really should apologise, that was painfully blunt and unnecessary, especially to say to other new mums, but I was at the stage where I was saying things like that out loud to remind myself not to get carried away!
So here she is polished and ready for her first day of school. The calendar is something we occasionally use at home to explain a busy day or make sure she doesn’t get confused. Used in a photo like this I thought it looked a little bit like we were holding her hostage and providing proof of life.
Then I figured that’s exactly what this is. It’s proof of life, and a beautiful one it is too.